“It is not funny that anything else should fall down only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.”
Topic
funny
969 quotes
Quotes, most loved first
“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.”
“I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.”
“I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.”
“Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.”
“Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.”
“A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'”
“I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.”
“If man knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry.”
“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.”
“Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.”
“Literature has drawn a funny perimeter that other art forms haven't.”
“Funny is an attitude.”
“You know what's funny to me? Attitude.”
“If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?”
“I didn't grow up identifying with beauty. I grew up thinking I could be smart and funny - those are the things I got feedback on.”
“It's a funny thing about life if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.”
“The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.”
“I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.”
“The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.”
“If you play it straight it's funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious.”
“The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.”
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'”