Author

Robert Orben

20 quotes Popular first.

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“I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.”— Robert Orben
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“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.”— Robert Orben
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“To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.”— Robert Orben
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“Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.”— Robert Orben
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“Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.”— Robert Orben
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“Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.”— Robert Orben
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“Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.”— Robert Orben
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“Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.”— Robert Orben
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“A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.”— Robert Orben
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“Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.”— Robert Orben
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“Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.”— Robert Orben
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“I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.”— Robert Orben
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“In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative fight, flee - or laugh.”— Robert Orben
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“I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.”— Robert Orben
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“Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.”— Robert Orben
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“Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.”— Robert Orben
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“Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?”— Robert Orben
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“Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.”— Robert Orben
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“Every speaker has a mouth An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.”— Robert Orben
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“If you can laugh together, you can work together.”— Robert Orben