O. Henry

“If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry.”

“Love and business and family and religion and art and patriotism are nothing but shadows of words when a man's starving!”

“Turn up the lights. I don't want to go home in the dark.”

“Life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating.”

“There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.”