Topic

funny

969 quotes

Quotes

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“It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it.”— Julia Roberts
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“Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.”— Chris Rock
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“I like reading Ball Tongue lyrics and all that stuff. And they published a book, and I wouldn't give my lyrics, and it's all wrong in the book, and I giggle. It's funny.”— Jonathan Davis
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“You have to understand the tone of the movie, because if it's supposed to be funny, it can be funny violent like the Home Alone stuff, but you have to really understand the tone of what you're doing and make the action work for that and for the character.”— David R. Ellis
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“My hair has never been my greatest feature, so that was funny enough unto itself that my hair became so focused on.”— Jennifer Aniston
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“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?”— H. L. Mencken
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“A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.”— Ernest Hemingway
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“By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.”— Mark Twain
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“Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.”— Will Rogers
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“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.”— George Burns
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“I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.”— Mitch Hedberg
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“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”— George Burns
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“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”— George Burns
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“I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.”— George Burns
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“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.”— George Burns
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“I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.”— Stephen Fry
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“I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.”— Warren Buffett
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“Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.”— Samuel Butler
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“Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.”— George Orwell
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“Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.”— Mitch Hedberg
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“One picture is worth 1,000 denials.”— Ronald Reagan
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“If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.”— Bob Hope
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“I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.”— Woody Allen
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“Light and funny has a more compelling quality when you're younger. But I haven't abandoned the genre: I love falling down I love Lucille Ball. It's just that a lot of those stories revolve around problems that I can't convincingly portray at this age.”— Julia Roberts
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“The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.”— Dave Barry