“I think serial monogamy says it all.”
Topic
funny
969 quotes
Quotes, most loved first
“I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.”
“The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.”
“My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.”
“All my children inherited perfect pitch.”
“I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.”
“Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.”
“I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced.”
“I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.”
“Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.”
“Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.”
“I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.”
“I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.”
“I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room.”
“I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.”
“Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they're home. I'm that way at Saks.”
“Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends.”
“I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing, and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it.”
“You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough.”
“It's funny how most people love the dead, once you're dead your made for life.”
“But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.”
“I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill.”
“It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life.”
“The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'”