“If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.”
Topic
funny
969 quotes
Voices on funny
“I can resist everything except temptation.”
More on funny
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
“I've dealt with many crises in my life, but few will ever happen.”
“It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.”
“Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.”
“Never let your schooling interfere with your education.”
“Critics are men who sit and watch a battle from a high place and come down to shoot the survivors.”
“I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
“Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.”
“If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”
“I had a cat once, but every time I tried to give him a bath, the fur stuck to my tongue.”
“I love catching people in the act. That's why I always whip open doors.”
“The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”
“People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.”
“I am not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”
“I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.”
JakeHow often does the train go by?
ElwoodSo often you won't even notice it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S65lJGs7YC8&t=9s
“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”
“I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny.”
“From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.”
“Get the facts first. You can distort them later.”
“Any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants so long as it is black.”
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance”