Author

Steven Wright

34 quotes Popular first.

1 0
“I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.”— Steven Wright
1 0
“There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.”— Steven Wright
1 0
“When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.”— Steven Wright
1 0
“I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.”— Steven Wright
1 0
“A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.”— Steven Wright
1 0
“I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.”— Steven Wright
1 0
“I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'”— Steven Wright
1 0
“I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.”— Steven Wright
1 0
“I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.”— Steven Wright