Will Rogers

“Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.”

“People are getting smarter nowadays they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.”

“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.”

“There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.”

“A fool and his money are soon elected.”

“Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.”

“Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.”

“Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.”

“The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.”

“There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.”

“Politics is applesauce.”

“The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.”

“In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.”

“A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.”

“I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.”

“Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.”

“Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.”

“The United States never lost a war or won a conference.”

“So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.”