Will Rogers

“People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.”

“The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.”

“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.”

“Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.”

“It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.”

“If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.”

“We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?”

“The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.”

“The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.”

“Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.”

“Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.”

“I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.”

“I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.”

“Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.”

“Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.”

“It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.”

“When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.”

“Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?”

“This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.”

“Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.”

“On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.”

“Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.”

“A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.”

“Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.”