Spike Milligan

“My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.”

“How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.”

“I can speak Esperanto like a native.”

“And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.”

“Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.”

“I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.”

“It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.”

“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.”

“Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.”