P. J. O'Rourke

“When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.”

“Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.”

“I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements.”

“People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.”

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”

“After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.”

“There's a certain kind of behavior in the Arab world that, to me, resembles the way young men behave when there is no significant influence from women in their lives.”