Author

W.C. Fields

24 quotes Popular first.

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“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”— W.C. Fields
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“The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.”— W.C. Fields
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“Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.”— W.C. Fields
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“When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.”— W.C. Fields
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“Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?”— W.C. Fields
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“I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.”— W.C. Fields
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“Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.”— W.C. Fields
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“All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.”— W.C. Fields
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“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”— W.C. Fields
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“Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.”— W.C. Fields
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“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.”— W.C. Fields
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“I like children - fried.”— W.C. Fields
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“Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.”— W.C. Fields
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“I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.”— W.C. Fields
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“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”— W.C. Fields
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“Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”— W.C. Fields
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“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.”— W.C. Fields
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“It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.”— W.C. Fields
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“Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.”— W.C. Fields
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“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a d--n fool about it.”— W.C. Fields
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“There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.”— W.C. Fields
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“You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.”— W.C. Fields
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“No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.”— W.C. Fields
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“Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.”— W.C. Fields