Kin Hubbard

“We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.”

“Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.”

“Don't knock the weather nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.”

“There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.”

“Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.”

“After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.”

“As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith.”

“A good listener is usually thinking about something else.”

“I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.”

“It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness poverty and wealth have both failed.”

“It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness poverty and wealth have both failed.”

“Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.”

“The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.”

“Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.”

“Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.”

“The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.”

“It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you.”

“When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money.”

“Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.”

“Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.”

“Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.”

“Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.”

“Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.”

“No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.”