Josh Billings

“Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.”

“It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.”

“A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.”

“Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.”

“There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.”

“Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.”

“Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.”

“Love looks through a telescope envy, through a microscope.”

“Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.”

“I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.”

“It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.”

“Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.”

“There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.”

“As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.”

“Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.”

“The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.”

“Men mourn for what they have lost women for what they ain't got.”

“The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.”