Author

George Burns

22 quotes Popular first.

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“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”— George Burns
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“At my age flowers scare me.”— George Burns
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“It only takes one drink to get me drunk. I can just never remember if it's the eighth or ninth.”— George Burns
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“Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.”— George Burns
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“I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.”— George Burns
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“I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.”— George Burns
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“I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.”— George Burns
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“I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.”— George Burns
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“I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.”— George Burns
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“I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.”— George Burns
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“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”— George Burns
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“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”— George Burns
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“I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.”— George Burns
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“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.”— George Burns
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“I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.”— George Burns
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“Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.”— George Burns
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“Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.”— George Burns
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“Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”— George Burns
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“I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.”— George Burns
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“Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.”— George Burns
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“You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.”— George Burns
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“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.”— George Burns