Drew Carey

“Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.”

“TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over.”

“As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed.”

“As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything.”

“There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.”

“The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.”

“Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event.”

“But sports photography isn't something you just pick up overnight. You can't do it once a year for fun and expect to do a good job. And I take pride in what I do.”

“When I thought I was retired, I wanted to travel around the world and watch soccer games.”