Bill Maher

“This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.”

“Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.”

“Men are only as loyal as their options.”

“Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.”

“Let's face it God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?”

“Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.”

“I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.”

“If you think you have it tough, read history books.”

“Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?”

“The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'”

“Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the 'will of the people' goes out the window.”

“Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.”

“I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?”

“I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.”

“To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.”

“What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.”

“We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.”