Ambrose Bierce

“Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.”

“Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.”

“Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.”

“Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.”

“Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.”

“Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.”

“Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.”

“Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.”