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“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.”
— Groucho Marx
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“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”
— Groucho Marx
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“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
— Groucho Marx
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“A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”
— Groucho Marx
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“Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
— Groucho Marx
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“Before I speak, I have something important to say.”
— Groucho Marx
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