Samuel Butler

“God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.”

“Theist and atheist: the fight between them is as to whether God shall be called God or shall have some other name.”

“God and the Devil are an effort after specialization and the division of labor.”

“And so there is no God but has been in the loins of past gods.”

“If God wants us to do a thing, he should make his wishes sufficiently clear. Sensible people will wait till he has done this before paying much attention to him.”

“God as now generally conceived of is only the last witch.”

“The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.”

“From a worldly point of view, there is no mistake so great as that of being always right.”

“The worst thing that can happen to a man is to lose his money, the next worst his health, the next worst his reputation.”

“A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing.”

“In law, nothing is certain but the expense.”

“Human life is as evanescent as the morning dew or a flash of lightning.”

“A man's friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage - but they are also no less invalidated by the marriage of his friends.”

“Marriage is distinctly and repeatedly excluded from heaven. Is this because it is thought likely to mar the general felicity?”

“A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct.”

“Vaccination is the medical sacrament corresponding to baptism. Whether it is or is not more efficacious I do not know.”

“The three most important things a man has are, briefly, his private parts, his money, and his religious opinions.”

“It has been said that the love of money is the root of all evil. The want of money is so quite as truly.”

“The want of money is the root of all evil.”

“We shall never get people whose time is money to take much interest in atoms.”

“It is a wise tune that knows its own father, and I like my music to be the legitimate offspring of respectable parents.”

“Self-preservation is the first law of nature.”

“They say the test of literary power is whether a man can write an inscription. I say, 'Can he name a kitten?'”

“People in general are equally horrified at hearing the Christian religion doubted, and at seeing it practiced.”