Doug Coupland

“I know it's not cat food, but what exactly is it that they put inside of tinned ravioli?”

“There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off.”

“In the future, torture will once again become the recreational sport of the rich.”

“I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'”

“When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture.”

“It also allows you to look as though you're not particularly from the present, future or past, either.”

“The future and eternity are two entirely different things.”

“A bland smile is like a green light at an intersection, it feels good when you get one, but you forget it the moment you're past it.”

“If you don't have a spiritual practice in place when times are good, you can't expect to suddenly develop one during a moment of crisis.”

“Unhappiness is something we are never taught about we are taught to expect happiness, but never a Plan B to use to use when the happiness doesn't arrive.”

“We live in an era with no historical precedents. History is no longer useful as a tool in helping us understand current changes.”

“If someone decides to be a musician now, it means because there is no hope of money at the end of it, it means they really want to be a musician. And if someone is writing now, there is no hope for money at the end of it.”

“Depression is when you have lots of love, but no one's taking.”

“Men won't read any email from a woman that's over 200 words long.”

“People will always choose more money over more sex.”

“I think money is due for some sort of collapse. People are going to realize that money has a half-life, like radioactive elements.”

“Nature is one great big wood-chipper. Sooner or later, everything shoots out the other end in a spray of blood, bones and hair.”

“If cats were double the size they are now, they'd probably be illegal.”

“Forget sex or politics or religion, loneliness is the subject that clears out a room.”

“Before machines the only form of entertainment people really had was relationships.”

“The person who needs the other person the least in a relationship is the stronger member.”

“Christmas makes everything twice as sad.”

“Technology favors horrible people.”

“There's much to be said for feeling numb. Time passes more quickly. You eat less, and because numbness encourages laziness, you do fewer things, good or bad, and the world's probably a better place for it.”